I have this idea.
You know those inventions on TV that you think, “Who is going to buy this?” But then the infomercial runs for like ten years so SOMEONE is buying these things. I never realised how useless this stuff was until I went to a “As Seen On TV” store with its thin dirty carpet and englishasasecondlanguageish vibe. Anyways, I looked all over the walls at these miracle products for under 20 dollars and it suddenly depressed me. Mostly because I have to watch infomercials to have a good time, at least on vacations. This is really all beside the point, because what I am trying to say is that I have many ideas for these products and they go as follows:
1) The DONOTRASH. This miracle product is a donut shaped trash can that goes around the original trash can but it lays much lower than the lid of the actual trash can. It catches all the shit that missed the trash can in the first place! The infomercial would open with Debra, the local slut and litterbug throwing out a used condom she forgot was in her purse. Disgusting. Instantly the viewer thinks, “I really don’t want that used condom anywhere but the trash.” This is where I get them! So she takes out the leaky thing and throws it at the trash, BUT IT MISSES! Then, through the power of technology and market demographing, we compile a human the looks a lot like the viewer sitting there, next to the trash. The condom is about to hit (basically) YOU in the head! We freeze right before it does. Then our announce says, “No more!” and a big red X covers the screen. Then Nicholas Cage enters from left and tells us of the donut like trash can that goes AROUND the normal trash can to collect trash that just couldn’t make it. The DONOTRASH. I am totally tired of typing this.
2) Something else ect.
You get the idea. I have millions of ideas and soon the world will know of my other inventions like the sugarfood powered treadmill (Its called Two Birds with One Treadmill, or the tBOT).
These are all patent pending, but I trust you guys.
